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jack scrimshaw aka cactus jack
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| where to find me for the new journey |
[Oct. 15th, 2009|11:10 am] |
last weekend was the meeting of krysta. She was a very easy house guest plesant to have around and good company for both me and hope. Right now we have kristian over for a day or 2 he came dilivering a new clock and will walk away with an accordion. I've not written m much cause i've been useing twitter mostly. You all took a turn on me once again and said the rants should b no more so be it they have gone no questions asked. I sitll can't remove certain entries and comments from my jhournal i am working on it! too muchas i feared has been lost by my mistakes. But as hope says there not real people if they leave you are they? no there not. in the space of a year marissa lulu possibly one or 2 others i will see this weekendhave been cast to 1 side quite sadly. I made a stupid mistakein letting my humanity get the better of me however if i hadn't have done that i would have never met hope live and in person. However if there was a way i could save a possible friendship i would do it. It seems however that there isn't. Soi've vanished for the most poart in to obscurity doing nobody ny harm just recording my songs and trying to have a crack at the business we all know and love that is music. If old readers wish to carry on the journeywith the scrimshaws they can. Just add ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) scrim11 to your list. or there's scrim666 on twitter. Messinger seems nextto b a haven for nothing at the moment. That's all my writeings done november draws near! |
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| me the bastard again |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|08:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | enraged hurt | ] |
this will b this journal's last entry. Twitter has overtaken it and its pages reflect an old forgotten life. A life in which a lot was left behind the scenes. Everybody needs a bastard odn't they. Giant haystacks kendo nagasaki captin hook abanarza u name themthere's a good villain in every show. However i'mturning down the role this time. I took today's events public because i think some of u are being given a 1 sided vertion of events. As usual when trying to show u what's gonig on instead of the help i desired i get nothing but slings and arrows. Shouldn't i have learned this by now? After all i try my best to help ubefore and its cast aside. save you from a fall which u chose to take regardless. Well so be it. These arms iwll incircle only 1 now. I'll only help the 1 nearist to me. Its me and hope now. You've shown your alience wihtout even giveing me a chance. Not for the first time iether! this journal is ended. Once my new life in the enw house beggins i'll write again. but in a different place. |
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| taken from the live journal of kaydear |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|04:05 pm] |
i'm noticing people that are pushing their friends away, rather than confiding in them.
being stand offish just won't work and will more likely lose you a friendship rather than gain the respect you could so easily get.
Also, take a good long sit down and think of someone else who is in another position to you.
that might also help before trying to slate their feelings.
imagine living somewhere else, living out of a bag, just please take 5 minutes, it honestly isn't much in your day to think of others.
Think of someone in a worse situation than yourselves, someone who has no home, who has a worse disability than you.
anyways, my rant ends right there.
evdently that disability is your brain is impaired! i've lived out of bags before sometiems guitar cases. I've known and loved the road and it loved me. What you forget is i'm not alone i have good friends that are willing to stand by me. I sugest seeking anger management morecounceling and perhpas a life might help. Because this ends now. Do or die today. My amrageis not going to be tainted by this filth! |
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| quick happy birthday |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|10:24 am] |
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happy birthday to a dear friend who's lj name i forgot but big happy birthday to crysta! even spelt eright for the ocasion. |
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| how the worm doth turn |
[Aug. 27th, 2009|09:55 pm] |
ya know what it seems funny as of late how people around u can change. The oneswho once laughed with u at your actions and jokes no longer laugh now. Some because the jokes are directed at them. others because they follow the lead like a pack of dogs. Others because they wander thorugh life and our short time together is over. I look forward to this moove. It marks a new beginning for hope and i. There have been good memories here and there have been bad. Now it seems that because we still refuse to bow down and follow the path we are told too we sitll are left aside. That's not a conplaint though. I'd rather people stay away ifthan b fake. there are times i have been stand offish because of the worries on my mind or just needed to sink in to sleep. i've not updated this journal simply because twitter has killed the eart of live journal. When u tweet everything u don't want to write an lj entry on it. To those reflecting on the good tiems the same jack is still here as i say over and over. |
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| putting the dla rumour to rest |
[Aug. 19th, 2009|01:31 pm] |
right i think this one has scared too many for too long. I've actualy signed up to the campaign to stop all this "cutting of dla" here's what's happened so far from the head honcho himself or herself for the leftys.
Dear jack,
It?s been an extraordinary fortnight since this campaign began. So, apologies for the long email, but we want to get everyone caught up.
AA & DLA WON?T END ON 13 NOVEMBER
Firstly, we want to make it absolutely clear that AA and DLA are not going to be abolished on 13 November, because some people seem to have got that impression.
We?re asking you to make your voice heard before the green paper consultation period ends on 13 November because, if you don?t, it makes it much more likely that disability benefits will be handed over to local authorities at some time in the future.
EMAILING DISABILITY ORGANISATIONS
Over 19,000 people have now signed up to the campaign and last week disability charities were deluged with emails after we asked campaigners to contact them and ask what they are doing about this issue. So much so that after a few days we had to ask you to stop sending emails, as they were simply being met with standard responses and were very unlikely to even be being read.
But you got the message across in astonishing numbers and with extraordinary speed and effectiveness. It is very unlikely that there is a disability charity in the UK that is not highly aware of this issue and also aware that their members are watching how they deal with it. You can read more about this at:
www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/news/latest-news/1097-stop-press-charities-left-reeling-by-your-response
We think it would be excellent if as many disability charities as possible were monitored over the coming months to check the degree to which they publicise this issue, consult with their members and respond to the green paper. It?s not something we have the resources to do here. But we?re hoping that groups of claimants with an interest in a particular charity might get together to do this.
The Carer Watch website below has made a forum available for anyone involved in this campaign to use for free, you don?t have to be a Benefits and Work member. You might want to try to meet up there with people with an interest in the same organisation.
CONTACT YOUR MP
This week we?re asking you to contact your MP and/or regional assembly member and ask them what they are going to do about this issue.
Once again, we?re not going to provide a standard letter because we think that will be taken a great deal less seriously than your personal opinions. But some of the things you might want to include are:
Tell your MP that you are concerned about proposals in the green paper to hand disability benefits over to local authorities.
Would the proposals make you less independent or affect your quality of life?
Ask them to ask the secretary of state for work and pensions to provide a precise list of which benefits may be affected now or at some time in the future. You might also want to ask for an explanation of why such unclear terms were used in the green paper when people?s future is at stake and they are supposedly being consulted with.
If your MP isn?t Labour, ask them what their party?s policy on this matter is.
Whatever party they belong to, ask them if they are prepared to give an assurance that they personally will vote against any plan to transfer funding from attendance allowance or disability living allowance to local authority control.
Would you vote for another party if you thought they would be less likely to cut your benefits? If so, tell your representative. ? they may be interested to hear that.
You can write to your MP at their constituency office or at the House of Commons (though it may take longer to get a reply from there as MPs are on holiday at the moment) or use Write to Them which is also useful just for identifying who your representatives are:
www.writetothem.com/
WHERE TO SHARE YOUR REPLIES: CARER WATCH
Rather like the disability charities last week, we were completely overwhelmed by your emails. There?s no possibility of us being able to answer them all. However, if you?re a member, you can post information in our discussion forum at:
http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/forum?func=showcat&catid=13
Whether you?re a member of Benefits and Work or not, you can also post in the Carer Watch forum below.
Although set up by carers, Carer Watch is being used by sick and disabled claimants as well. We?ve heard a lot from Carer Watch in recent weeks about the work they?ve done to try to get carers organisations to be more assertive in relation to benefits and to consult more with members and we?ve been very impressed, particularly as they are an entirely unfunded group.
They?ve set up a special forum for this campaign, you have to register to post, but it has the huge advantage that it?s entirely free:
carerwatchdotcom.myfineforum.org/about748.html
We?ve also written a brief article about the kind of responses you?re likely to receive from your MP:
www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/news/latest-news/1098-beware-weasel-words
AND FINALLY . . .
Congratulations on what you?ve achieved so far. The campaign has grown so quickly and spread awareness of this issue so widely that we?ve dropped our original plan to send out an email with a new task each week. The idea of chipping away bit-by-bit at different disability agencies that we originally had no longer seems to make sense. But there will be more emails over the coming weeks ? we have at least one more major task after this one - and we?ll be keeping people informed after that.
What would be really excellent now is if the realisation that there are many thousand of claimants out there who are able to get together and act for a common purpose could be translated into something longer lasting. There?s no point in a private sector company like ours trying to spearhead this ? we are far too open to the accusation that we are only in it for the money.
Is it time for someone to revive the idea of a Claimant?s Union?
Good luck,
Steve Donnison
Please feel free to forward or publish this email.
Benefits and Work Publishing Ltd
Company registration No. 5962666
(c) 2009 Steve Donnison. All rights reserved.
This message was sent from Benefits and Work to jackscrimshaw@gmail.com.
there u go folkies now u know waht u need to do. Besides fi they didand this is a small if if they did cut it so amny people includeing me owuld not b able to survive. Are they going to clean up all that mess? i don't think so! |
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| the longest list of punishments ever written |
[Aug. 14th, 2009|04:36 pm] |
Steven Barker, Tracey Connelly, Jason Barker
the 3 of you! i'll be writing out your deaths this evening. By the time i've fienshed these punishments ifi got the good fortune to practise them on you you would b nothing but bagable binable garbage. Why? read this article. I warn you if your easily saddened or offended do not read htis article or my next entry!
read and weep
if u did click this link and u have any punishments to sugest email them to me. I will b submitting them to parliment shortly after. Such an atrosoty should never be allowed such monsters don't deserve the gift of life! |
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| cancer treatment |
[Aug. 14th, 2009|04:21 pm] |
still another ten year wait but a step in the right direction! i've known so many people who've lostfriends and relatives to the big c. I myself have. Hopefully soon the son of a bitch iwll b sent straight to hell! |
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| memory lane |
[Aug. 10th, 2009|07:37 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy reflective | ] |
i was trogging through this massive collection of music last night and stumbled a cross soe very dusty and sadly forgotten old gems. They were tracks from a friend who has journeyed thorugh life in a different direction ot me but then again we allways journeyeddifferent. Fait chose to cross our paths. Many many years ago. i take u back to weeks before this journal even existed. July 2002? Yep i'm speaking about sara. Those harp songs took me back to that legindaryfirst all nighter way back when. When i could get my bloody dates right. It wasn't long after hope and i got talking. Fidler's green was still there. I remember takeing shannon in jim wans't a great fan of her whistle playing i odn't know why. I liked it. I guerss i felt old listening back to those tracks. After all back then ihad so much to learn. Was a very sprightly 17 who thought they were confortably saddled up for the ride and new most of what the world had to offer. I was hopelessly hopelessy wrong. Hope and i have both allways wanted a harp and the talk had gotten round to sara and another canadian singer heather dale. How i htought htere accents and/or voices had similar qualities. Not dead on oooh we have a sound alike but definitly similar. It does you good to remember sometimes i reckon. Not tolomment but to get out the old audio photographs and skim thorugh and say wow!this was where i was then and now here i am i made it. Did those 2 play a part? your bloody well right they did. Thanks to the ladies ofavalon that's it! that was one of your names i tried to remember your ftp names one of them was definitly avalon. The other? it will come to me. Its dinging in my brain. But anyway its thanks to them both i discovered chris de burg who's latest album btw is excilent and also it gave me some inkling as to who lorena mcenit was terrible spelling sorry. Anyway that's this trip down memory lane over.gee ai'nt it funny how time slips away. |
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| i was sent this |
[Jul. 25th, 2009|02:12 pm] |
i did'nt write this i wish i had. If this doesn't touch your heart i pity you. Dedicated to my own loveing wifehope and hto all those who forgot.
THE ROSE
Red roses were her favorites,
Her name was also Rose,
And every year her husband sent them,
tied with pretty bows.
The year he died,
the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine,"
like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses,
and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
that he would pass away.
He always liked things early,
way before the time.
Then if he got too busy,
everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems,
and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase
beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours,
in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.
A year went by,
and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.
Then that very hour,
as on Valentine's before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses,
sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
and just looked at them in shock.
Then, she went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her,
causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call,
and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance,
your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
as he has paid, well in advance,
you'll get them every year.
There is also another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago,
Then should I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card...that should be sent to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone,
her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly
reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he
had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know
it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard
for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
so beautiful in life,
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses
will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,
think of all the happiness,
that we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you,
and you know I always will.
But my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.
Please... try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt.
To take the roses to the place,
where I've instructed him.
And place them where we are,
together once again.
Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting
for you to open it.
This is forever friendship.
A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up
an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship. |
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| spititng acid! |
[Jul. 22nd, 2009|05:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pissed off! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the dripping of your blood | ] |
after a game of holdem i amabsolutley disgusted at teh human race. How can 2 imature self rightous little fuckheads aloud to live! A lot of people like this site for the swearing and rants. Me? i just tell it how it really is not like the smarks who claim to tell it when all they do is minj on about things they know nothing about like these 2 twats! it shows how litle u know about me when u talk about my 1 commedy gig in the rnc commedy club! let me tell u somehting fuck stick u know very well you were safe behind your fucking keyboard makeing those fingers dance because if u were within 20 feet of me i'd sitll b jumping up and down on your fucking jaw or have my teeth buried in your face! i told u one day your personal hygeen would b ifected when your wired up to a bag of your own piss. I'd love to be the one to put you there. I'd love to kick you so many times in the ribs that you end up spitting out flecks of bone and flesh. I'd love to kick you in the head so many times you'll b begging me for a punch. Then when your onthing but a skelital cabage in that reaking wheelchair i'd love to do the world a favour and push you down the fucking stairs you useless waste of human oxygen a vacuous sack of shit like you is the reaosn the world's in such a mess today. The reason why girls of 22 have 7 kids running aroundwaste high in shit with not 2 farthings to rub together! its the reason why cctv cameras are being put up in schools and its the reason why i'll be able to say once again if our paths meet i'll do time for you i swear it! |
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| 18 grand on holdem |
[Jul. 21st, 2009|11:00 pm] |
don't get excited its virtual but i rose form nil to that today. That's tellinthem how its done. On the table i got to talking about an old friend of mine whom i lost otuch with jill murphy. Took me back a few years to when i jack would go on ftp with my bat up old bass and sing her country songs. That is real country music not some pumped up queer boy choir kid who ai'nt got nothing better to dothan bitch at somebody over a song lyric! real music real instruments get it? if only jill could see me now. At the time i was very torubled. now i've a wife a damn good guitar and while i'm not exactly singing a lot of country in the u k at the moment i'm still singing them old songs! As allways the views of this entry are my views nobody elsis don't like it don't ad it! Cause i'm cactus jack and that my congrigation is my opinion! now turnith that camera off! |
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| an historical day |
[Jul. 20th, 2009|10:22 pm] |
there is no doubt at all that 40 years a go july 20 1969 historywas made. Then was the fams quote "its one small step for man one giant leap for mankind" uttered. Now 40 years later what's in store. The moon as we know it is lifeless a desert. Rock and sand. 13 days of intense heat 13 days of polar conditions and cold. so then! where too next? Mars? in otehr news had kristian over for a most plesant weekend and yesterday claire and domanick came over for the afternoon/evening. It was a great time had by all. I've just seen on the news david beckham is angry. What is vick's diamond studded dildo rusting? also up the english for thrashing the ozzy's! |
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| today |
[Jul. 11th, 2009|11:08 pm] |
as good a subject as any i spose. Just said bye to steve as part of a double bill this weekend. Today's been a day of chat getting htings out in the open for steve and discovering truth and fiction for ourselves. Dad came orund and helped us try and track down the smell that's been haunting the kitchen. It wans't the bin. Think its the s bend in the sink yuk! Gona try stay up for ufc 100 at the very leat i'd like to tape it. Tomorrow is an afternoon at mum's for her birthday. Think we'll take instruments along and have a real good play. sight village is on tuesday which should b a great day out for us. that's about it for now i think
until next time have a good time. |
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| aditional |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|10:05 pm] |
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the little boy was his daughter paris whoops. but she said it all. |
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| humbled |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|08:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | emotionally worn | ] |
oh how the mighty do fall. Today i've witnessed something like no other. I've never cried so many tears for someone i've never met though as hope said i have met him. I've known him all my life. I saw a small child go up on stage barely able to speak for his tears but wanting totell the whole world how much he loved his dad. I am unashamed to say i cried a bucket i screamed out the unfairness of it all! if you weren't ifected you are no human. You have no heart. As a friend on twitter just said i think we're all a little kinder a little gentler after that. he's right. To have someone taken so unexpetadly to see such an outpouring of grief will humble the best of us. It certainly humbled me. i have been harsh i have been vicious i have hurt in my time. I hope to overright it with good. i saw somebody who while i was a fan i made the but of many jokes do somehting that i only dreamed of doing. Not being mobbed my girls and treated like a king but playing to millions and giving his love to people that needed it the most. I saw someone hwo touched the word for the shortest of times and left a preminent impresion. I only wish that i myself can do a tenth of that. |
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| birthday |
[Jul. 4th, 2009|05:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | robot wars | ] |
i'm 24 today. Got most of my presents early this year whichi ncluded me buying myself a playsation 3. Hopey got me a button accordion hwich eagle sitll haven't sent. Spent a lovely afternoon with the grandparents and now er'e back home looking forward to a nice eveningwith holdem and my favourite telly and of course each other. Was terrorized by a massive bumble bee outside the flat today bastard hting. I think t wanted to get around me or past me so i stepped away sure enough it was gone. Horrid creature. To all those sending birthday wishes ithankyou to those who due to time differences haven't been able to yet i await them to those who just coulnd't b bothered fuck you and the horses you rode on last night! |
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| new band member |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|09:05 pm] |
yay! after some discution with the other band members i asked claire bland to join us She accepted and is now a blind furey member. I tink this will b totaly benificial to the band as its a second gitarist which allows me to alternate to the mandolyn now and again and it fills in all the grey arias i have. have tried makeing contact with marissa as regards a project i'm hopeing to set up with a bunch of us a sort of imagened village blind style. If you don't know what that is listen to some good folk music cause i ai'nt telling. Desmond hates the fan but its the only way to keep the place cool! i do worry about him in the hot weather. Have cut my left little finger annoying! its my guitarchording finger! wanker woo waffle burger! 24 on saturday. Course i'll enjoy it cause hope's here and dad is comeing to take us to see my grandparents which will b real nice. Might ask if we can go see nana as well but atmos might b a bit unconfortable for that. Ah well i dare say she'll call if not i shall call her. Its important for us to stick together. I must b good to the goodens as time may b growing short. November we'll know then of course it might not who knows. called sky about being kicked off the net same fella as last time. He blames the extention cable.loads of speel bout high requency cables for ?60! awwh hope said "i don't like you" in a very cute little english style kid voice. She's cheering me up. I worry about her in this heat. I saw her go down again monday night lifting the sohpping. I shouldn't get upset i must not worry but my guard is allways up. I will not fail her! usualy the walk from kitchen to liveingroom is about 15 seconds i did it in 2 that monday night hurdling 6 bags of shopping to get to hope so she did'nt fall again. little people so fragile and precious. Yet they break so easy. Its the heat of course. bringing on these worries i long for the cold touch of a gentle autmn breeze or the pat pat of a drop of rain. Dad called tonight sounded fairly happy. Was round his place itl half 12 saturday night longest i ever spent at his house aside from when we first picked hope up from the airport.that most special of days that seems so many years a go and yet is only six short months. I will repair the damage i will overcome with hope at my side together we can acheeve the impossible. |
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| revolution |
[Jul. 1st, 2009|10:18 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | god dayamn! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | lots of things | ] |
today's starting well had a good kpi last night and am feeling better. Sat outside for a couple hours in the night air and it felt very nice indeed.I'm going to take a different turn on things i htink. Rather than being the seaker of justice as i have been before and try and cast out the pond life i'm just going to talk to the so called outsiders and carry on unless they've directly effected me or hope in some way. The way i see it if marissa can talk to us someone that lost everything lost a lot of friends and without blowing my own a damn good album can talk to us why should we not try too. Sod the "people's opinion" after all everybody goes there own way don't they. The world is getting warmer and it could end in 2012 according to some. These ai'nt quacks nither these are whize people i'm talking about. i have my health and strength99% of the time. time to use it. The music will sort itself out i'm sure. Just give me that motivation. I know at least 2 superb musicians no make that 3! its time to unite and use our talents work together on something that is going to rock the music world! saying no more as i've not discussed the idea with the others. Hell it could fall on its arse. But i'd like ot try! |
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| musicalness |
[Jun. 30th, 2009|01:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | determined | ] |
lately i've been on the back burner as far as music goes well for hte last 3 weeks definitly. I just don't have the inspiration at the moment. I can still talk it but to play? nothing. Perhaps its because my life is complete. I have ideas but when it comes to picking up the guitar they go. Ruth notman is looking for musicians i will b putting my name forward. I've uploaded stuff to the myspace page which can be found here.
also broadcasting another show today last week i had no finess no ideas no bang! i saw kristian broadcast sunday and ship in the listeners and i wondered waht's the secret. I used to know it. Perhaps this is just a bit of down time all be it very small. I have other concerns at the moment and other happyer things going on but the musical side does concern me. Which is why i had to write it here. Thelast recording i made had to b one of the best i've ever done. This time? it could b i guess i just need the motivation someone to so go on jack play us this song. Finding out who your true friends areis perhaps diveing that motivation down hill with a brick on the exalarator too. They all have there reasons there various excusis or what have you. fact is though i thought as true friends you'd like to see an old friend happy. Perhaps i was wrong. |
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